Sorry it's been so long since my last confession (blog post); this one is going to be just that. I've been dating someone I met on Match. Two weeks ago, I happily wrote a half dozen people that I had been corresponding with that I had found someone special. They all wrote back how happy they were for me – the site works! – and wished me luck. In fact, Match had worked. I met someone who reads the same books as me and likes to talk about issues, feels passionate about things, loves nature and being outdoors and has many similarities to me in upbringing. These things I could discern before meeting him but in our four weeks of courtship, going on hikes and to gardens, to dinners and for massages to celebrate his birthday, he also made me laugh and smile constantly. He calms me and excites me too and it was easy for us both to start thinking about a future together. Everything was perfect. Then, something happened that brought it all to a screeching halt; we had sex.
A week or two before, when discussing our relationships past, there was a brief exchange of "I don't have anything" to which I replied, "Neither do I." This short conversation represents more than many people have before sleeping together and yet far less than what should have transpired. I've read that young people are stepping up the level of discussion when it comes to STDs, realizing that their life is on the line and being less concerned with modesty than previous generations, but I've also heard about college students regularly engaging in hookups that are only ever intended to be one-night stands with no illusions about whether he'll call in the morning. It seems a particularly cruel aspect of life that we should have to think about protecting ourselves from a deadly disease when wanting to share ourselves sexually with someone.
The fact is, when I gave my quick reply, I actually misrepresented myself. What I meant was "To my knowledge, I don't have anything," to which he could have asked more questions like when my last blood test for STDs was. Eventually we did have that conversation but only after he exposed himself to me. I put it like that because I have since learned that he was clean and tested after his last partner. I wish more than anything that I could say the same. I get pap smears every year and am tested for herpes, gonorrhea and Chlamydia; I use condoms most of the time but have had accidents and have never been pregnant but I don't get tested for HIV, syphilis and hepatitis. What followed then was one of the worst hours of my life. We were supposed to be spending the weekend together but he said he couldn't enjoy my company until he knew we were in the clear. I couldn't believe that I put what might have been the best relationship of my life in jeopardy because of something I should have already done for myself.
It really doesn't make sense. I eat well, I exercise regularly and I floss. I pay my bills on time, check receipts, pay meters and watch my speed when driving. I research things, I openly discuss ideas and I learn from others. I don't ski because I'm afraid to break a leg, don't hike alone for fear of mountain lions and don't drive drunk. There is overwhelming evidence to suggest that I am honest, responsible and concerned for my health and safety. I can understand why this man would believe that I was telling him the truth without grilling me further. I hung my head in shame. I can't recall the last time I did that but I did and still do feel truly ashamed. I wanted a partner who inspires me to be a better person and he has certainly proved himself but I have deeply disappointed the both of us.
I didn't try to come up with excuses because there is no excuse, but I did spend the rest of the night trying to find the reasons. One thing that I think is curious is that in all my years of visiting Planned Parenthood and seeing gynecologists and getting pap spears, I have never once been asked if I am being tested for STDs. I was even told by one doctor when I asked about sensitivity that I may have developed an allergy to latex and the solution was not to wear condoms. "How do I protect myself?" I asked and the doctor replied that condoms were not 100% anyway – they break, they come off – best not to have sex at all. Abstinence is actually the only way to not put oneself at risk but I like sex. I always have and while I have been careful to protect myself, I also have been more promiscuous than I want to be. I've analyzed the reasons for this too over the years. At times I've called it a lack of self-esteem, at others a need for freedom but lately, a lack of willpower or judgment. This could be my deepest, darkest secret. I have harbored an enormous amount of guilt and shame over this and it's likely that it is for this very reason I haven't taken responsibility for my behavior by being tested, and tested often.
As important as this is, I marvel over how little, if at all, this subject has come up with even my closest girlfriends. Only one sex partner ever asked me if I had been tested and after age 30, most men I was with put up an argument when asked to wear a condom. How is it possible that something so important has gone ignored for so long among adults? It's really a sad state of affairs. We might be more in denial about this than we are about global warming. Is this one of those things that our awesome but limited human brains cannot conceive? I dearly hope that this person was not put in my life just to teach me this lesson but at the same time, I am glad that he was. I will take the test on Monday but I am terrified. What if I have a deadly disease? What if I have unknowingly passed it on to other people? How will I even know who gave it to me and whom I have exposed? What if my tests come back positive or negative, how will I know they aren't false positives or negatives? Will I ever really feel safe? Will this person ever trust me again? The only thing I do know is that I have finally come to terms with this and I am better for it.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It's never too late to be what you might have been
I just finished reading Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell's latest book, and like his previous books, The Tipping Point and Blink, it's a fascinating look into why things are the way they are (one of my favorite subjects!) In Outliers, Gladwell debunks the myth that people are successful because of their "individual merit." Using established research and case studies, he shows that culture, family, luck and timing are powerful factors in whether a person is successful. It's very interesting and it made me think quite a bit about my own culture, family, luck and timing. It's not a self-help book so there isn't a chapter on "What to do if you didn't get the right combination of the four factors" but he does demonstrate that knowledge is power and if you understand who you are and how you came to be that way, the more you can change the outcome.
Here's an example from the book, very briefly encapsulated. In the nineties, Korean Air had three times the number of fatal accidents of any other airline and was on the brink of being shut down. It was discovered that because of the culture and the language, the co-pilots were not able to directly tell the captain when there was a problem. Here was an issue that would seem to stem from mechanical or technical problems but was actually a cultural problem. It was solved in two ways. One, the roles were switched so that the captain was in the co-pilot's seat and the junior pilot would fly the plane. That way if there was a problem, social protocol did not prohibit frankness. Two, the language of flying became officially English. Without the social stratification built into the language, it was easier for everyone to speak plainly without fear of offending.
As you might expect, people who are nurtured in their talent and interests while young, tend to be successful in those areas especially if culture, timing and luck were also on their side. It can be difficult, if not impossible, as an adult to put yourself in a situation where you can get the practice and confidence necessary to be good at something new. If that pursuit goes against how you've been raised or your culture, it is also more difficult. Or if you're born in a time when that field is extremely competitive, it will take more luck to get in. Luck is what you call all of those times when you were given access to equipment, training, contacts, information, money, a mentor or some other leg up that other people didn't get.
It's probably not a coincidence that I started this blog at around the time that I stopped acting and went back to work in marketing. I knew that I wasn't yet on the right path and must have known that the blog would help me focus on that quest. In another stop on the journey of self-discovery, I've just this week turned down what is basically the best job offer I've ever had. The non-profit that I had been working for pro-bono asked me to be their Director of Marketing and Communications, a brand new position. I had presented a plan for how to strengthen the brand, establish processes for the company and develop a strategy to grow the business over the next couple of years. I would have worked with some of the brightest and nicest people I've ever met and been able to make a tangible difference in education.
The problem is that marketing is not the path I'm supposed to be on. It's something that I'm naturally good at but no matter how much I accomplish, I never get any satisfaction from it. At the same time my inner critic keeps wondering why, if I was meant for something else, I'm not already doing it. Why is it so hard for me to know what I really want? I found the answer in Outliers. People who are successful are assisted by external forces in such a way that they don't have to wonder what they are supposed do with their lives. Mozart, Bill Gates, Michael Phelps and almost every movie star there is, were doing what they do when they were children. They had discovered their talent -- or it had been discovered for them -- and the four factors colluded to put them on a path to success before they were even old enough to ask what they wanted to do. In reviewing my life, I realize I've been all over the map, and back again.
Here's a synopsis:
Child: Wanted to be a teacher, Shirley Temple or the President of the United States; my mother wanted to take me to auditions but my dad said no.
Jr. High/High School: Wanted to take drama and was not allowed, my dad said it was stupid.
Jr. College: Took engineering classes because my dad made me; thought I might want to be an attorney (to blend my love of issues and performing) and got a job at a law office; considered acting school but believed I should be properly educated; started taking improv and acting classes on my own.
College: Dropped engineering for Women's Studies (which cost me the financial support of my dad); thought I might want to be a politician but continued to act; considered getting a masters in education; got feedback from professors that whatever I did should involve writing.
Post-college: Worked at creative agencies as a project manager (and although good at it, I was miserable); enrolled in acting classes and started performing in plays and short films.
Nearing 30: Quit my job to be an actress, moved to Los Angeles and planned to give it five years before re-evaluating; started to become friends with my mom following my parent's divorce.
35 to now: Worked in marketing and got laid off twice and felt like every interview and offer was a death sentence; continued to write scripts and make short films; offered a free place to stay for the next 2+ years by my mom.
Obviously, I have three strong interests: Politics, education and filmmaking. Politics is too nasty for me and frankly I'm not very good at saying the right thing at the right time. I'm also quite happy expressing that part of me on the blog. I decided long ago that I didn't want to be a teacher but the job I'm turning down would have allowed me to make a difference in education with my marketing skills. That made the decision very difficult because unlike other jobs in marketing, this one might have actually fulfilled me.
Filmmaking, though, has definitely persisted as the strongest interest. I remember seeing Goodfellas and Thelma and Louise in the early nineties (Jr. College era) and saying to myself "I'd do anything to make movies like that!" The reason I didn't plunge into it then or at every other opportunity is because of my upbringing, which is a very valuable thing to know. I also noticed something else in my list. All of the careers I've been interested in utilize the skills of communication, performance and persuasion; Teachers, politicians and attorneys all need these skills in abundance. Despite his misguided advice, my dad has told me he recognized these things in me at a very young age.
Of course, even a person who already knows what their talent is and has been put on the path to success could mess it up. What I think is the biggest obstacle to success, however, is fear. I can't imagine what fears might have sabotaged the success of Mozart or Gates or Phelps but I know that I am a long-time victim of fear. Fear is what has kept me in marketing and away from what I really love! I've been hiding in jobs instead of taking the plunge into the unknown, where the things I know are scarier than the things I don't know. The two layoffs might, in retrospect, be seen as the luck and timing I needed because they've made it more difficult for me to hide. So I've decided to stay at mom's for the next couple of years, make movies, write scripts and see where it leads me.
Here's an example from the book, very briefly encapsulated. In the nineties, Korean Air had three times the number of fatal accidents of any other airline and was on the brink of being shut down. It was discovered that because of the culture and the language, the co-pilots were not able to directly tell the captain when there was a problem. Here was an issue that would seem to stem from mechanical or technical problems but was actually a cultural problem. It was solved in two ways. One, the roles were switched so that the captain was in the co-pilot's seat and the junior pilot would fly the plane. That way if there was a problem, social protocol did not prohibit frankness. Two, the language of flying became officially English. Without the social stratification built into the language, it was easier for everyone to speak plainly without fear of offending.
As you might expect, people who are nurtured in their talent and interests while young, tend to be successful in those areas especially if culture, timing and luck were also on their side. It can be difficult, if not impossible, as an adult to put yourself in a situation where you can get the practice and confidence necessary to be good at something new. If that pursuit goes against how you've been raised or your culture, it is also more difficult. Or if you're born in a time when that field is extremely competitive, it will take more luck to get in. Luck is what you call all of those times when you were given access to equipment, training, contacts, information, money, a mentor or some other leg up that other people didn't get.
It's probably not a coincidence that I started this blog at around the time that I stopped acting and went back to work in marketing. I knew that I wasn't yet on the right path and must have known that the blog would help me focus on that quest. In another stop on the journey of self-discovery, I've just this week turned down what is basically the best job offer I've ever had. The non-profit that I had been working for pro-bono asked me to be their Director of Marketing and Communications, a brand new position. I had presented a plan for how to strengthen the brand, establish processes for the company and develop a strategy to grow the business over the next couple of years. I would have worked with some of the brightest and nicest people I've ever met and been able to make a tangible difference in education.
The problem is that marketing is not the path I'm supposed to be on. It's something that I'm naturally good at but no matter how much I accomplish, I never get any satisfaction from it. At the same time my inner critic keeps wondering why, if I was meant for something else, I'm not already doing it. Why is it so hard for me to know what I really want? I found the answer in Outliers. People who are successful are assisted by external forces in such a way that they don't have to wonder what they are supposed do with their lives. Mozart, Bill Gates, Michael Phelps and almost every movie star there is, were doing what they do when they were children. They had discovered their talent -- or it had been discovered for them -- and the four factors colluded to put them on a path to success before they were even old enough to ask what they wanted to do. In reviewing my life, I realize I've been all over the map, and back again.
Here's a synopsis:
Child: Wanted to be a teacher, Shirley Temple or the President of the United States; my mother wanted to take me to auditions but my dad said no.
Jr. High/High School: Wanted to take drama and was not allowed, my dad said it was stupid.
Jr. College: Took engineering classes because my dad made me; thought I might want to be an attorney (to blend my love of issues and performing) and got a job at a law office; considered acting school but believed I should be properly educated; started taking improv and acting classes on my own.
College: Dropped engineering for Women's Studies (which cost me the financial support of my dad); thought I might want to be a politician but continued to act; considered getting a masters in education; got feedback from professors that whatever I did should involve writing.
Post-college: Worked at creative agencies as a project manager (and although good at it, I was miserable); enrolled in acting classes and started performing in plays and short films.
Nearing 30: Quit my job to be an actress, moved to Los Angeles and planned to give it five years before re-evaluating; started to become friends with my mom following my parent's divorce.
35 to now: Worked in marketing and got laid off twice and felt like every interview and offer was a death sentence; continued to write scripts and make short films; offered a free place to stay for the next 2+ years by my mom.
Obviously, I have three strong interests: Politics, education and filmmaking. Politics is too nasty for me and frankly I'm not very good at saying the right thing at the right time. I'm also quite happy expressing that part of me on the blog. I decided long ago that I didn't want to be a teacher but the job I'm turning down would have allowed me to make a difference in education with my marketing skills. That made the decision very difficult because unlike other jobs in marketing, this one might have actually fulfilled me.
Filmmaking, though, has definitely persisted as the strongest interest. I remember seeing Goodfellas and Thelma and Louise in the early nineties (Jr. College era) and saying to myself "I'd do anything to make movies like that!" The reason I didn't plunge into it then or at every other opportunity is because of my upbringing, which is a very valuable thing to know. I also noticed something else in my list. All of the careers I've been interested in utilize the skills of communication, performance and persuasion; Teachers, politicians and attorneys all need these skills in abundance. Despite his misguided advice, my dad has told me he recognized these things in me at a very young age.
Of course, even a person who already knows what their talent is and has been put on the path to success could mess it up. What I think is the biggest obstacle to success, however, is fear. I can't imagine what fears might have sabotaged the success of Mozart or Gates or Phelps but I know that I am a long-time victim of fear. Fear is what has kept me in marketing and away from what I really love! I've been hiding in jobs instead of taking the plunge into the unknown, where the things I know are scarier than the things I don't know. The two layoffs might, in retrospect, be seen as the luck and timing I needed because they've made it more difficult for me to hide. So I've decided to stay at mom's for the next couple of years, make movies, write scripts and see where it leads me.
Monday, March 9, 2009
How to have a clean house
When I lived in San Francisco, three people who visited my apartment asked me for the name and number of my cleaning lady. They couldn't believe it when I told them I didn't have one, that I kept my place clean and organized myself. It just so happens that my mother is a clean freak and I was raised to share that responsibility. Like eating healthy and exercising regularly, I've come to realize some of us were lucky to be taught these things by our parents and some of us were not. I don't intend this post to be preachy at all, it just occurred to me that I've been asked on more than one occasion, "How do you do it?" So here is the answer. There are three rules to keeping a clean and tidy house and they seem pretty easy -- stay organized, don't make a mess and clean regularly -- but they can seem next to impossible for some folks. It's about breaking habits and building new ones. These are also in order of importance. If you complete one and two, three is easy. If you don't, three will be so difficult that you won't make it.
1) Stay organized
Part one: Everything has a place that makes sense. It's important that everything belongs somewhere. If you can't put everything away even if you wanted to, then you have too much stuff or not enough places to put it. Also, if there is no absolute clean and tidy state that you aspire to, you will always live in filth and clutter. Additionally, the place where everything goes has to make sense. If it doesn't, you'll never remember where anything is and you make it far more difficult on yourself to remember where things go. I have a stack of attractive boxes in my office that hide ugly office supplies. In the summer, I rotate out winter clothes from my closet and put them in a plastic tub that goes somewhere out of the way. In the kitchen, I have utensils for cooking near the stove, dishes near the sink and silverware near the dishes. Coffee mugs are near the coffee maker as is the coffee and tea, etc. Another advantage of organization is that when other people are at your house, they can put things away for you. Neato!
Part Two: Keep things put away. Now that you have a system of where everything goes, this is much easier. It also forces you to get rid of things. My mom has a rule: if something comes in the house, something else has to go out. Your place is not an eternally empty vessel. Plus, everything in your house collects dust so the most you have, the dirtier your place. I have a box for Goodwill that also sits in the same place all the time. When it's full, I donate the items and bring it back empty. Donations are tax deductive, much less hassle than selling and it helps your community. I don't advocate throwing anything useful in the trash but if that's the only way to get rid of something, do it. Back to putting things away. This is critical. I have a small chair by my closet because I like to pile clothes when I'm trying on outfits but as I said, it's a small chair. It limits how much I can pile before forcing me to hang them up. I know it's a cliché but it really is easier to put things away immediately than to save it for later. Every morning or every night, make it a habit to tidy. Put everything away, do the dishes, hang the towels, etc. It's wonderful for the mind to refresh your environment every day.
2) Don't make a mess
I think people who were raised with mothers who acted as maids (or who didn't clean at all) have a hard time with this one. They're hardwired to believe that someone else will clean up their messes. You have to train yourself, brainwash yourself, to counter these thoughts with the opposite. If you have the thought to throw something on a chair or the floor instead think "put it away!" If you have the thought that a spill or mess doesn't matter or someone else will get it instead think "clean it up!" Taking a minute or two throughout the day to be tidy will save you hours of cleaning on the weekend and give you a cleaner house all the time. The second part of not making a mess is being careful. It just makes sense: if you don't make messes, you won't have as much to clean up. I understand that kids change this picture but these are valuable lessons to teach children as well. Not to chastise but to train. If you make a mess, you have to clean it up so be careful. No one is going to do it for you!
Another aspect of not making a mess is being aware of what's making a mess for you. When it's windy outside, close the windows to keep dust from blowing in. Down furniture and comforters make quite a bit of dust so substitute with synthetic "down" if you're not happy to clean up after it. If you have items in your house that leak or drip or otherwise make a mess regularly, fix them or replace them. Are you tracking in dirt on your shoes? Get a better mat outside for cleaning shoes or take them off at the door.
3) Clean every week
Cleaning has to be part of your regular routine. I tend to do it on Sunday mornings. Those are mornings that I'm not anxious to get out of the house, or anxious to get out of my pajamas. Pajamas are great to wear while cleaning, by the way. They're comfortable, I'm not as worried about getting them dirty and when I'm done, they go in the dirty clothes basket and I go in the shower! I find that cleaning is a great time to get some thinking done and I quite enjoy it. I make my coffee or tea, crank up the music or put on a movie, open the shades to get some light in and get to work. First, I take the sheets off the bed, change the towels in the bathroom and get the laundry started. Then I sweep (or vacuum) and wash the floors (on hands and knees, it's the best way!) After that, I wipe all the surfaces with a damp cloth (no point in dusting before you clean the floor) and scrub sinks, toilets and tubs. If you don't have time to do everything every week, split it into two or even three weekends. The point is to do it on a regular basis. If you have kids, make them help. We always had to help clean the house and my brother and I are both very tidy because of it. I try to keep it simple in terms of equipment. I use a tub that I fill with only a few cups of hot water and change whenever it's dirty and an old kitchen sponge for floors first, then the sinks and last for the toilet, before I throw it away. It's a great time to change the kitchen sponge and throw the old one under the sink for the next weekend. If you clean regularly, the house is not as dirty and this can be done quite quickly. Every week/month, choose one room and move the furniture and clean behind and underneath everything.
I also think we should make an effort to clean with natural products for a couple of reasons:
1) It's better for your health and the health of your family to not use toxic chemicals in the house.
2) It's better for everyone's health if the toxic chemicals you use are not rinsed down the sink into our water supply.
3) It's better for the health of the planet if these toxic chemicals and products are not produced at all as some of them have more toxins in the byproducts than the actual product you're using.
Here's the list of my cleaning products: Hot water, vinegar, baking soda, coconut oil, rubbing alcohol. Kitchen and bathroom floors get hot water with a little bit of vinegar; it's a great disinfectant and leaves no residue to pick up dirt. Hardwood floors are cleaned with a a pea-sized amount of coconut oil in hot water; it conditions the wood and leaves the floor shiny without any residue. I also use coconut oil to clean the stove. It magically dissolves hardened oils without any scrubbing. It's amazing! I use the baking soda to scrub the sink, tub and toilet. You can use rubbing alcohol to clean mirrors instead of glass cleaner. All of these products are cheap, non-toxic and effective. I actually use coconut oil for cooking and for my skin so it's always in my house. I use apple cider vinegar because it smells nice and I keep it around for my salad dressings. I seriously urge you to look at the chemicals in your house and consider whether they are really necessary. A friend of mine started a company, Eco-Me, selling kits online to make your own natural products that are even better! Check out the site for more information on why using natural cleaners is so important.
1) Stay organized
Part one: Everything has a place that makes sense. It's important that everything belongs somewhere. If you can't put everything away even if you wanted to, then you have too much stuff or not enough places to put it. Also, if there is no absolute clean and tidy state that you aspire to, you will always live in filth and clutter. Additionally, the place where everything goes has to make sense. If it doesn't, you'll never remember where anything is and you make it far more difficult on yourself to remember where things go. I have a stack of attractive boxes in my office that hide ugly office supplies. In the summer, I rotate out winter clothes from my closet and put them in a plastic tub that goes somewhere out of the way. In the kitchen, I have utensils for cooking near the stove, dishes near the sink and silverware near the dishes. Coffee mugs are near the coffee maker as is the coffee and tea, etc. Another advantage of organization is that when other people are at your house, they can put things away for you. Neato!
Part Two: Keep things put away. Now that you have a system of where everything goes, this is much easier. It also forces you to get rid of things. My mom has a rule: if something comes in the house, something else has to go out. Your place is not an eternally empty vessel. Plus, everything in your house collects dust so the most you have, the dirtier your place. I have a box for Goodwill that also sits in the same place all the time. When it's full, I donate the items and bring it back empty. Donations are tax deductive, much less hassle than selling and it helps your community. I don't advocate throwing anything useful in the trash but if that's the only way to get rid of something, do it. Back to putting things away. This is critical. I have a small chair by my closet because I like to pile clothes when I'm trying on outfits but as I said, it's a small chair. It limits how much I can pile before forcing me to hang them up. I know it's a cliché but it really is easier to put things away immediately than to save it for later. Every morning or every night, make it a habit to tidy. Put everything away, do the dishes, hang the towels, etc. It's wonderful for the mind to refresh your environment every day.
2) Don't make a mess
I think people who were raised with mothers who acted as maids (or who didn't clean at all) have a hard time with this one. They're hardwired to believe that someone else will clean up their messes. You have to train yourself, brainwash yourself, to counter these thoughts with the opposite. If you have the thought to throw something on a chair or the floor instead think "put it away!" If you have the thought that a spill or mess doesn't matter or someone else will get it instead think "clean it up!" Taking a minute or two throughout the day to be tidy will save you hours of cleaning on the weekend and give you a cleaner house all the time. The second part of not making a mess is being careful. It just makes sense: if you don't make messes, you won't have as much to clean up. I understand that kids change this picture but these are valuable lessons to teach children as well. Not to chastise but to train. If you make a mess, you have to clean it up so be careful. No one is going to do it for you!
Another aspect of not making a mess is being aware of what's making a mess for you. When it's windy outside, close the windows to keep dust from blowing in. Down furniture and comforters make quite a bit of dust so substitute with synthetic "down" if you're not happy to clean up after it. If you have items in your house that leak or drip or otherwise make a mess regularly, fix them or replace them. Are you tracking in dirt on your shoes? Get a better mat outside for cleaning shoes or take them off at the door.
3) Clean every week
Cleaning has to be part of your regular routine. I tend to do it on Sunday mornings. Those are mornings that I'm not anxious to get out of the house, or anxious to get out of my pajamas. Pajamas are great to wear while cleaning, by the way. They're comfortable, I'm not as worried about getting them dirty and when I'm done, they go in the dirty clothes basket and I go in the shower! I find that cleaning is a great time to get some thinking done and I quite enjoy it. I make my coffee or tea, crank up the music or put on a movie, open the shades to get some light in and get to work. First, I take the sheets off the bed, change the towels in the bathroom and get the laundry started. Then I sweep (or vacuum) and wash the floors (on hands and knees, it's the best way!) After that, I wipe all the surfaces with a damp cloth (no point in dusting before you clean the floor) and scrub sinks, toilets and tubs. If you don't have time to do everything every week, split it into two or even three weekends. The point is to do it on a regular basis. If you have kids, make them help. We always had to help clean the house and my brother and I are both very tidy because of it. I try to keep it simple in terms of equipment. I use a tub that I fill with only a few cups of hot water and change whenever it's dirty and an old kitchen sponge for floors first, then the sinks and last for the toilet, before I throw it away. It's a great time to change the kitchen sponge and throw the old one under the sink for the next weekend. If you clean regularly, the house is not as dirty and this can be done quite quickly. Every week/month, choose one room and move the furniture and clean behind and underneath everything.
I also think we should make an effort to clean with natural products for a couple of reasons:
1) It's better for your health and the health of your family to not use toxic chemicals in the house.
2) It's better for everyone's health if the toxic chemicals you use are not rinsed down the sink into our water supply.
3) It's better for the health of the planet if these toxic chemicals and products are not produced at all as some of them have more toxins in the byproducts than the actual product you're using.
Here's the list of my cleaning products: Hot water, vinegar, baking soda, coconut oil, rubbing alcohol. Kitchen and bathroom floors get hot water with a little bit of vinegar; it's a great disinfectant and leaves no residue to pick up dirt. Hardwood floors are cleaned with a a pea-sized amount of coconut oil in hot water; it conditions the wood and leaves the floor shiny without any residue. I also use coconut oil to clean the stove. It magically dissolves hardened oils without any scrubbing. It's amazing! I use the baking soda to scrub the sink, tub and toilet. You can use rubbing alcohol to clean mirrors instead of glass cleaner. All of these products are cheap, non-toxic and effective. I actually use coconut oil for cooking and for my skin so it's always in my house. I use apple cider vinegar because it smells nice and I keep it around for my salad dressings. I seriously urge you to look at the chemicals in your house and consider whether they are really necessary. A friend of mine started a company, Eco-Me, selling kits online to make your own natural products that are even better! Check out the site for more information on why using natural cleaners is so important.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Using my skills to rebuild America
I don't have to tell you that a lot of people are losing their jobs these days. I was laid off last year from a job that I had just relocated for. It seemed like the perfect time to volunteer my services, expand my skills and network with other people in my field. I was excited to find Taproot, an organization that assembles teams of professionals to tackle a specific need for a non-profit. Taproot utilizes the skills that you've spent your career developing and applies them to non-profits who desperately need but cannot afford your expertise. They've developed a system that keeps the project on track so that it doesn't become more hassle than it's worth. You can request to work for organizations that appeal to you and are able expand your skill set by applying for more than one area of experience.
I've worked in marketing for ten years and while I'd been moving in the direction of being a brand strategist, it wasn't something I could call myself yet. After the orientation, I was interviewed by Account Executives and selected to work on a project in that capacity. Through this experience, I learned about a new business sector, had the opportunity to work with talented people that I would be thrilled to work with again and was able to push myself to deliver a brand strategy that everyone was excited about. Never in the corporate world have I encountered such a pure dedication to a project and to a client. Every time we met as a team, we were impassioned and energetic about what we could do for our client. It showed in the results and in the way we won them over, from skepticism to praise.
Around the same time, I met a woman at a dinner party who worked for an education nonprofit. She'd been thinking about applying for a Taproot grant but hadn't yet done it. I've always been very passionate about education so I volunteered to help her out and ended up writing and producing a brochure and then writing and releasing a press release for her company. They were both great experiences that gave me confidence in tackling something totally new and in being able to commit myself and deliver. As it turned out this company was looking for marketing leadership and were very impressed by the work I did for Taproot. I don't know yet if I have the job but I can say for certain that working and developing my skills was infinitely more valuable and rewarding than sending out resumes.
If you've been inspired by our new president this past month, consider donating your skills to a nonprofit – especially if you've been laid off, your hours cut back or your freelance work has dwindled. Taproot operates in seven cities and needs professionals in project management, marketing, creative services, human resources, information technology and strategy management. Or just volunteer the next time you hear someone say they need help. Let's rise to the challenge set forth by Obama of helping each other make America stronger.
I've worked in marketing for ten years and while I'd been moving in the direction of being a brand strategist, it wasn't something I could call myself yet. After the orientation, I was interviewed by Account Executives and selected to work on a project in that capacity. Through this experience, I learned about a new business sector, had the opportunity to work with talented people that I would be thrilled to work with again and was able to push myself to deliver a brand strategy that everyone was excited about. Never in the corporate world have I encountered such a pure dedication to a project and to a client. Every time we met as a team, we were impassioned and energetic about what we could do for our client. It showed in the results and in the way we won them over, from skepticism to praise.
Around the same time, I met a woman at a dinner party who worked for an education nonprofit. She'd been thinking about applying for a Taproot grant but hadn't yet done it. I've always been very passionate about education so I volunteered to help her out and ended up writing and producing a brochure and then writing and releasing a press release for her company. They were both great experiences that gave me confidence in tackling something totally new and in being able to commit myself and deliver. As it turned out this company was looking for marketing leadership and were very impressed by the work I did for Taproot. I don't know yet if I have the job but I can say for certain that working and developing my skills was infinitely more valuable and rewarding than sending out resumes.
If you've been inspired by our new president this past month, consider donating your skills to a nonprofit – especially if you've been laid off, your hours cut back or your freelance work has dwindled. Taproot operates in seven cities and needs professionals in project management, marketing, creative services, human resources, information technology and strategy management. Or just volunteer the next time you hear someone say they need help. Let's rise to the challenge set forth by Obama of helping each other make America stronger.
Monday, March 2, 2009
I'll take hope over fear any day
Today on Marketplace, Kai Ryysdal was speaking with Edward Miguel who teaches at the University of California, Berkeley. His most recent book is called "Economic Gangsters." Miguel's commentary on the new appointment for health secretary was focused on how difficult Republicans might make it for Obama's administration to get heath care reforms passed in congress.
One has to wonder if there are more than economic ideology differences at work on either side. Even Rush Limbaugh said about the stimulus plan: "I don't think it's designed to stimulate anything but the Democrat Party." Recent economics research suggests Limbaugh may be right on the politics.
Miguel says that in a recent economic study he conducted in democratic Uruguay, people who directly benefited from government programs enacted during a similar economic crisis were "15 percentage points more likely to voice support for the political party implementing the program." It's certainly not surprising that people would vote for a political party that has made their life better. And isn't that the whole point?
Republican majorities in Congress passed the largest expansion of federal government health spending in decades with the Medicare Prescription Drug Act of 2003, with strong support from President Bush.
The party who bangs the small government drum and cries "socialism!" at the mention of government funded programs? Did they pass this legislation to secure the votes of elderly Americans in the 2008 election? This explains all the animosity, finger-pointing and name-calling towards Obama by the Republicans. They're peeved because the Democrats are poised to steer this ship in a direction the American public might actually be happy about and want to continue on. They're pissed because their guy fucked up and they couldn't come up with anyone genuine enough to make us believe they care.
If Obama's reforms work, it's not just the economy that will get a boost. People will recognize the role government played in their ability to secure benefits like health insurance and reward his party at the ballot box later on. Millions of Americans who came of age in the Great Depression became loyal Democrats for life, rewarding the party that created the New Deal. President Obama promises a new set of programs, starting with the stimulus and extending into health care and beyond.
It starts to become clear, now, what the truth is behind the ugly rantings of Rush Limbaugh. He has said that he hopes the socialistic policies of Obama will fail but contends that he doesn't mean he wants our economy to fail. In the middle of an economic crisis, two wars and impending environmental doom, how is it possible for our President's "policies" to fail without it also adversely affecting everyone in America?
Socialism is a red herring. It's nothing more than a scary word that most Americans don't understand but have been taught to fear. The Republicans have usurped the word and are attaching it to anything Obama does. What is really going on is that the Republicans are afraid that Obama's policies won't fail and that they will make better the lives of millions of Republican Americans who may reward the Democrats with votes for years to come. This is why he can't be trusted.
We should be frightened, Limbaugh says, of someone who is this popular the world over. (Would he say the same thing if he was the subject of so much adoration and optimistic enthusiasm?) Obama is only trying to improve our lives so that we will continue to support him! We should fear a politician who cares what we think, a man who calls for hope, hard work and thoughtful, intelligent solutions.
Naturally the party that was willing to manufacture information about the threat Iraq posed ito launch a costly and unsupported invasion and occupation would be suspicious of someone who seems to be doing what is best for Americans. The same people who ran on a platform of staying in Iraq and Afghanistan for as long as necessary are now criticizing Obama for staying for two more years, calling him a war monger. They are continuing their ever so effective campaign tactic of calling the other guy exactly what they are.
Both parties will tell you that the other lies, cheats and steals to win and has ulterior motives. It seems that by politicians' own admission, none of them can be trusted to care about us. So let's say that all politicians only care about their careers, their party and their reelection and whoever speaks for either party is a willing and eager accomplice. Let's agree that both sides are equal in their motives – pursuing their own ideology at whatever cost to the American people. We are left with two parties, one that is pushing fear and another that is pushing hope. Which do you think will be more productive for our country and our souls? The Republican party is apparently led by Limbaugh, a man who believes our President is violating everything we hold sacred and intends to turn us into a slave state. He preaches fear and hatred and divisiveness.
The other, the Democratic party, is currently led by a Obama, a man who preaches hope and our ability to make the world a better place. He asks us to look into the future and imagine the world we want to live in and then work with each other to make it so. The more the Republicans try to expose the ugliness behind the motives and tactics of the Democrats, the more it just shows us how untrustworthy all politicians are. What they don't understand is that the election of Obama was not about a man, it never is. Americans don't vote for people, we vote for ideas, we vote with our hearts. Fear will never win out over hope. If they tear down Obama, the only thing they can accomplish is to tear down our belief in the government. If they do that, the result will not be Americans rushing to the polls to vote Republican. It may, however, prompt the even more feared specter of a third-party candidate swooping in and stealing our attention and our loyalty. Then things will really get interesting.
One has to wonder if there are more than economic ideology differences at work on either side. Even Rush Limbaugh said about the stimulus plan: "I don't think it's designed to stimulate anything but the Democrat Party." Recent economics research suggests Limbaugh may be right on the politics.
Miguel says that in a recent economic study he conducted in democratic Uruguay, people who directly benefited from government programs enacted during a similar economic crisis were "15 percentage points more likely to voice support for the political party implementing the program." It's certainly not surprising that people would vote for a political party that has made their life better. And isn't that the whole point?
Republican majorities in Congress passed the largest expansion of federal government health spending in decades with the Medicare Prescription Drug Act of 2003, with strong support from President Bush.
The party who bangs the small government drum and cries "socialism!" at the mention of government funded programs? Did they pass this legislation to secure the votes of elderly Americans in the 2008 election? This explains all the animosity, finger-pointing and name-calling towards Obama by the Republicans. They're peeved because the Democrats are poised to steer this ship in a direction the American public might actually be happy about and want to continue on. They're pissed because their guy fucked up and they couldn't come up with anyone genuine enough to make us believe they care.
If Obama's reforms work, it's not just the economy that will get a boost. People will recognize the role government played in their ability to secure benefits like health insurance and reward his party at the ballot box later on. Millions of Americans who came of age in the Great Depression became loyal Democrats for life, rewarding the party that created the New Deal. President Obama promises a new set of programs, starting with the stimulus and extending into health care and beyond.
It starts to become clear, now, what the truth is behind the ugly rantings of Rush Limbaugh. He has said that he hopes the socialistic policies of Obama will fail but contends that he doesn't mean he wants our economy to fail. In the middle of an economic crisis, two wars and impending environmental doom, how is it possible for our President's "policies" to fail without it also adversely affecting everyone in America?
Socialism is a red herring. It's nothing more than a scary word that most Americans don't understand but have been taught to fear. The Republicans have usurped the word and are attaching it to anything Obama does. What is really going on is that the Republicans are afraid that Obama's policies won't fail and that they will make better the lives of millions of Republican Americans who may reward the Democrats with votes for years to come. This is why he can't be trusted.
We should be frightened, Limbaugh says, of someone who is this popular the world over. (Would he say the same thing if he was the subject of so much adoration and optimistic enthusiasm?) Obama is only trying to improve our lives so that we will continue to support him! We should fear a politician who cares what we think, a man who calls for hope, hard work and thoughtful, intelligent solutions.
Naturally the party that was willing to manufacture information about the threat Iraq posed ito launch a costly and unsupported invasion and occupation would be suspicious of someone who seems to be doing what is best for Americans. The same people who ran on a platform of staying in Iraq and Afghanistan for as long as necessary are now criticizing Obama for staying for two more years, calling him a war monger. They are continuing their ever so effective campaign tactic of calling the other guy exactly what they are.
Both parties will tell you that the other lies, cheats and steals to win and has ulterior motives. It seems that by politicians' own admission, none of them can be trusted to care about us. So let's say that all politicians only care about their careers, their party and their reelection and whoever speaks for either party is a willing and eager accomplice. Let's agree that both sides are equal in their motives – pursuing their own ideology at whatever cost to the American people. We are left with two parties, one that is pushing fear and another that is pushing hope. Which do you think will be more productive for our country and our souls? The Republican party is apparently led by Limbaugh, a man who believes our President is violating everything we hold sacred and intends to turn us into a slave state. He preaches fear and hatred and divisiveness.
The other, the Democratic party, is currently led by a Obama, a man who preaches hope and our ability to make the world a better place. He asks us to look into the future and imagine the world we want to live in and then work with each other to make it so. The more the Republicans try to expose the ugliness behind the motives and tactics of the Democrats, the more it just shows us how untrustworthy all politicians are. What they don't understand is that the election of Obama was not about a man, it never is. Americans don't vote for people, we vote for ideas, we vote with our hearts. Fear will never win out over hope. If they tear down Obama, the only thing they can accomplish is to tear down our belief in the government. If they do that, the result will not be Americans rushing to the polls to vote Republican. It may, however, prompt the even more feared specter of a third-party candidate swooping in and stealing our attention and our loyalty. Then things will really get interesting.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The true cost of everything
A friend of mine recently had to take her daughter to the emergency room for stitches. After the procedure, the doctor gathered up the metal utensils she'd used and threw them in the trash. My friend, a very environmentally conscious young lady, was horrified and questioned the doctor about it. "Yeah," she shrugged, "it's cheaper for us to throw them away than it is to sterilize them." How is this possible, my friend wondered? Surely there must be someone in the world that could use this metal. "Did it get recycled? I asked. She said it went right into the garbage, medical waste. "That shit gets buried," she said. Wow.
In this month's National Geographic is an article about "The real price of gold." This metal, that has nearly no uses other than ornamentation, has been soaring in price since 9/11. As the economy of the world becomes more uncertain, people up their hoarding of gold. The article says that all of the nuggets of gold in the world have been mined or are totally inaccessible. What's left is dust. One of the largest commercials mines in the world digs for particles of dust so small that 200 would fit on a pinhead. Technology has made it possible for man to separate these tiny particles from rock but at great cost to our environment.
On one island in Indonesia, a volcano, once 1,800 feet tall, is now a gold mine a mile deep. To mine one ounce of gold (the amount used for the average gold ring), 250 tons of rock have to be relocated. To accommodate that rock, hundreds of acres of virgin forests are razed. The chemical runoff is dumped into the ocean. The company that operates this mine pays the local government to offset the environmental damage but everyone knows that in 20 years, the gold will be gone and so will the funds flowing into their homes, churches, schools and hospitals. What will be left is total environmental devastation.
That doesn't even take into account the human devastation that these industries are causing already. 25% of the world's gold is mined by enterprising individuals who camp in mountains by the thousands without any sanitation. They pour buckets of mercury-tainted water into the rivers even as the deadly element cuts their own life short. I can't help but think that the reason it's cheaper to throw metal into a landfill in America is because the true cost is being absorbed by someone less fortunate. Only when the cost of this devastation reaches our shores will it be too expensive for us to waste.
In this month's National Geographic is an article about "The real price of gold." This metal, that has nearly no uses other than ornamentation, has been soaring in price since 9/11. As the economy of the world becomes more uncertain, people up their hoarding of gold. The article says that all of the nuggets of gold in the world have been mined or are totally inaccessible. What's left is dust. One of the largest commercials mines in the world digs for particles of dust so small that 200 would fit on a pinhead. Technology has made it possible for man to separate these tiny particles from rock but at great cost to our environment.
On one island in Indonesia, a volcano, once 1,800 feet tall, is now a gold mine a mile deep. To mine one ounce of gold (the amount used for the average gold ring), 250 tons of rock have to be relocated. To accommodate that rock, hundreds of acres of virgin forests are razed. The chemical runoff is dumped into the ocean. The company that operates this mine pays the local government to offset the environmental damage but everyone knows that in 20 years, the gold will be gone and so will the funds flowing into their homes, churches, schools and hospitals. What will be left is total environmental devastation.
That doesn't even take into account the human devastation that these industries are causing already. 25% of the world's gold is mined by enterprising individuals who camp in mountains by the thousands without any sanitation. They pour buckets of mercury-tainted water into the rivers even as the deadly element cuts their own life short. I can't help but think that the reason it's cheaper to throw metal into a landfill in America is because the true cost is being absorbed by someone less fortunate. Only when the cost of this devastation reaches our shores will it be too expensive for us to waste.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Suicidal maniacs
Last week, a young man in Portland, Oregon took his own life. But before doing so, this unlikely murderer bought a semi-automatic weapon and went on a shooting spree that left two teens dead and seven wounded. One of the dead and five of the injured were foreign exchange students from Peru, Ecuador, Guatemala, Taiwan, Italy and France. The dead girl's parents will fly to the United States to pick up their daughter's body. Can you imagine the horror these families must feel at the insanity that is our country?
Other countries issue traveler's alerts if there's been recent war or terrorist activity but there is never an alert issued for traveling in the U.S. "Warning: you may be gunned down at any moment by a suicidal maniac." We live in a country that finds it totally acceptable to lock people up without rights if they are suspected to know anything about terrorist activity but vehemently defend the individual's right to buy a gun designed for killing lots of people in a short period of time and using it indiscriminately against U.S. and foreign citizens.
While the Republicans are hammering at Obama's every move, no one is even talking about this ever present assault on our mental, moral and physical well-being. Imagine the sorrow of the family of this young man who never expected him to become a killer and yet having found a note left to his roommate explaining how to sell his belongings for cash and "sorry," can only now remember their son as a murderer in the first degree. All during the presidential campaign, the Republicans painted Obama as a crazy hammer and sickle wielding liberal while they waved the constitution in one hand and a semi-automatic in the other.
It's no wonder the rest of the world thinks we're gun crazy. My cousin from England is finally coming out for a visit this summer after about ten years of coaxing. She was terrified, she said, of being gunned down and wanted to avoid the cities. We were planning to drive up the California coast into Oregon and to Portland to visit my brother. I remember saying to my mom that Portland wasn't really even a city, things like that didn't happen there. I guess I was wrong.
Other countries issue traveler's alerts if there's been recent war or terrorist activity but there is never an alert issued for traveling in the U.S. "Warning: you may be gunned down at any moment by a suicidal maniac." We live in a country that finds it totally acceptable to lock people up without rights if they are suspected to know anything about terrorist activity but vehemently defend the individual's right to buy a gun designed for killing lots of people in a short period of time and using it indiscriminately against U.S. and foreign citizens.
While the Republicans are hammering at Obama's every move, no one is even talking about this ever present assault on our mental, moral and physical well-being. Imagine the sorrow of the family of this young man who never expected him to become a killer and yet having found a note left to his roommate explaining how to sell his belongings for cash and "sorry," can only now remember their son as a murderer in the first degree. All during the presidential campaign, the Republicans painted Obama as a crazy hammer and sickle wielding liberal while they waved the constitution in one hand and a semi-automatic in the other.
It's no wonder the rest of the world thinks we're gun crazy. My cousin from England is finally coming out for a visit this summer after about ten years of coaxing. She was terrified, she said, of being gunned down and wanted to avoid the cities. We were planning to drive up the California coast into Oregon and to Portland to visit my brother. I remember saying to my mom that Portland wasn't really even a city, things like that didn't happen there. I guess I was wrong.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Last day of January
Time is just flying by! I've been at my mom's for nearly five months and have only accomplished a few of the things on my list.
1) Exercise more. I think this will be on my list of things to do for the rest of time. I enjoy exercise and it makes me feel good. I sleep better, I digest my food better, I have more energy and more concentration and yet I don't unconsciously do it, like eating. I have to force myself.
2) Finish three videos that I've started. I'm not an editor and that makes me procrastinate. I did finish one, however.
3) Update my website. I did this, yay!
4) Write a script. (Actually write two scripts and make another short film). I'm working on the first one and am making great progress. I'm very proud of this.
5) Launch a business so I don't have to get another J-O-B when I run out of money in less than six months. I know what it the business idea is but still have to take the real steps towards setting it up.
Blogging isn't even on this list. It's been lumped in with "exercise more" as just another thing that I enjoy and makes me feel good but continues to be a struggle. It seems that those would be the things we do easily and often but unfortunately, we spend too much of our lives doing things that we don't enjoy and don't make us feel good. My mom was saying that at work yesterday she started thinking, "What am I doing with my life? What are my goals? What am I striving towards?" It was really refreshing, I never hear her express those thoughts. She always just seems like one of those people unburdened by that question. She's married, has raised children and is now a grandparent, is about to retire from a good job and has plenty to get by in comfort for the rest of her life. From my perspective, she's got it made. For all I know, that's what she thinks of me.
I've been thinking lately about how random life is and wondering how it took me this long to realize it. There have been two beliefs in my brain running side by side for a long time now. One is that if I apply myself towards my goals there will be a certain result at the end. That seems like a reasonable idea. After all, we're told our whole life to be careful so we don't get hurt, eat well so we'll be healthy, work hard so we'll have a good job, etc. On the other hand, there's the knowledge that despite the best intentions to do or have certain things, life delivers up randomness on a regular basis. Sometimes the randomness is fortune beyond our wildest imagination but sometimes it's tragedy.
A contractor who works with my mother came out West for some meetings. Before the meetings, he said, he drove by the house where he used to live with his family. He just sat there for a long time looking at it. My mom thought he looked like he'd been crying; in fact she was sure he had. I suggested that maybe he'd lost a child there, drowned in the pool perhaps, and she said it lined up with other things she'd known about him. We don't have any tragedy in our family but most people, in my experience do. A premature death, suicide, drugs, jail, infidelity, insanity. Just this month an old friend, who grew up a few blocks away, died of cancer at age 45. He was a person who spent his life making people healthy and happy. He had a face that made people smile and a voice that made people laugh; a truly delightful person. Without any known health problems, he went to the doctor for soreness in his neck and was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. He lost a five-month battle against it and now his family has been delivered a tragedy.
People say that life isn't fair which erroneously points our brain down the path of "life is unfair" which isn't really true. Life is just unpredictable. Yes, I believe that there are certain odds but there are too many variables in life to really say with certainty how true these "odds" are. There seem to be too many examples to the contrary of any belief to know for sure. I've lived long enough now to have seen, on a regular basis, smart hard-working people get fired while lazy incompetent people keep their jobs. I've met dozens of unpleasant men and women in relationships with people who dote on them and just as many lovely people who are utterly alone. I've seen my cheeriest, most optimistic friends reach out for help with depression and wondered how life could be so different from how it should be. A friend of my mom's recently survived a rare form of ovarian cancer that has a less than 4% survival rate. She was in her sixties and had been obese her entire life and yet she emerged lighter and looking younger and more attractive than ever. How does that happen?
I suppose it's this knowledge that made me cringe when someone lent me a book like "The Secret" about five years ago. I just couldn't stomach the idea that what happens to people in this world is in their control. I mean I'd like to think that but it just doesn't make sense. If we can control what happens to us, it means that the laws of the universe are fixed and make sense and it further means that there is a plan, a grand scheme into which all of these things fit. Certainly, religion has capitalized on our desire to believe that. Science is devoted to proving these immutable laws but any scientist will tell you that there really are no such things. The more we discover and prove, the more things emerge that don't make sense at all and life and universe become even more mysterious. What kind of world would we live in if we all knew for certain that life was truly and thoroughly random?
In my mother's front yard are several bird feeders to feed the yellow finches and rosy finches. Nestled in the shade of a grove of tall trees, the birds gather every day to eat and chatter. They regularly fly down to the ground to pick up fallen seeds and it's here that they are prey to the neighborhood cats that sit for hours in the surrounding foliage waiting for an opportunity. The other day was a windy one and whether it was because the birds couldn't hear or because there were more seeds on the ground, there were three caught in one day by my mom's young cat. On the front porch I found two wings and a rosy head. In the house I found a yellow one in eternal repose lying on the rug and I found a baby one alive, near the cat who was waiting for it to do something interesting so he could pounce again. I think I saved that one but the carnage of the others made me ill.
The death of these birds is indisputably random. My mom could not have cats but the neighbors' cats would still come around. She could remove the feeders but the birds would still gather somewhere and might be killed by another threat. Or might die without the readily available food and nearby trees for nesting. If it hadn't been windy, less may have been killed, and did the ones that got caught do something to contribute to their situation? From their perspective, they're just living like birds and every once in a while one is a victim of an unforeseen tragedy.
The randomness of my life, however, has most been felt in the relationship arena. This year, all of my close girlfriends got married. I was visiting a friend in Seattle who said all of her close girlfriends got married two years ago and are now all having children. We chatted about how random it was that we were the ones that were left. After all, we've both had many boyfriends, several long-term and have actively sought a relationship. Collectively, our friends' stories are all different. They are varying ages, met their mates in totally different ways and their relationships followed no common trajectory. In short, there is no explanation; there is only the result that at 37 years old, we're both thinking for the first time that one of life's opportunities may be passing us by. And yet I find that nearly everyone I know, religious or rational, optimistic or pessimistic, old or young, tend to simultaneously believe these two opposing ideas; If you go for what you want, you'll get it but if you don't, it isn't your fault.
1) Exercise more. I think this will be on my list of things to do for the rest of time. I enjoy exercise and it makes me feel good. I sleep better, I digest my food better, I have more energy and more concentration and yet I don't unconsciously do it, like eating. I have to force myself.
2) Finish three videos that I've started. I'm not an editor and that makes me procrastinate. I did finish one, however.
3) Update my website. I did this, yay!
4) Write a script. (Actually write two scripts and make another short film). I'm working on the first one and am making great progress. I'm very proud of this.
5) Launch a business so I don't have to get another J-O-B when I run out of money in less than six months. I know what it the business idea is but still have to take the real steps towards setting it up.
Blogging isn't even on this list. It's been lumped in with "exercise more" as just another thing that I enjoy and makes me feel good but continues to be a struggle. It seems that those would be the things we do easily and often but unfortunately, we spend too much of our lives doing things that we don't enjoy and don't make us feel good. My mom was saying that at work yesterday she started thinking, "What am I doing with my life? What are my goals? What am I striving towards?" It was really refreshing, I never hear her express those thoughts. She always just seems like one of those people unburdened by that question. She's married, has raised children and is now a grandparent, is about to retire from a good job and has plenty to get by in comfort for the rest of her life. From my perspective, she's got it made. For all I know, that's what she thinks of me.
I've been thinking lately about how random life is and wondering how it took me this long to realize it. There have been two beliefs in my brain running side by side for a long time now. One is that if I apply myself towards my goals there will be a certain result at the end. That seems like a reasonable idea. After all, we're told our whole life to be careful so we don't get hurt, eat well so we'll be healthy, work hard so we'll have a good job, etc. On the other hand, there's the knowledge that despite the best intentions to do or have certain things, life delivers up randomness on a regular basis. Sometimes the randomness is fortune beyond our wildest imagination but sometimes it's tragedy.
A contractor who works with my mother came out West for some meetings. Before the meetings, he said, he drove by the house where he used to live with his family. He just sat there for a long time looking at it. My mom thought he looked like he'd been crying; in fact she was sure he had. I suggested that maybe he'd lost a child there, drowned in the pool perhaps, and she said it lined up with other things she'd known about him. We don't have any tragedy in our family but most people, in my experience do. A premature death, suicide, drugs, jail, infidelity, insanity. Just this month an old friend, who grew up a few blocks away, died of cancer at age 45. He was a person who spent his life making people healthy and happy. He had a face that made people smile and a voice that made people laugh; a truly delightful person. Without any known health problems, he went to the doctor for soreness in his neck and was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. He lost a five-month battle against it and now his family has been delivered a tragedy.
People say that life isn't fair which erroneously points our brain down the path of "life is unfair" which isn't really true. Life is just unpredictable. Yes, I believe that there are certain odds but there are too many variables in life to really say with certainty how true these "odds" are. There seem to be too many examples to the contrary of any belief to know for sure. I've lived long enough now to have seen, on a regular basis, smart hard-working people get fired while lazy incompetent people keep their jobs. I've met dozens of unpleasant men and women in relationships with people who dote on them and just as many lovely people who are utterly alone. I've seen my cheeriest, most optimistic friends reach out for help with depression and wondered how life could be so different from how it should be. A friend of my mom's recently survived a rare form of ovarian cancer that has a less than 4% survival rate. She was in her sixties and had been obese her entire life and yet she emerged lighter and looking younger and more attractive than ever. How does that happen?
I suppose it's this knowledge that made me cringe when someone lent me a book like "The Secret" about five years ago. I just couldn't stomach the idea that what happens to people in this world is in their control. I mean I'd like to think that but it just doesn't make sense. If we can control what happens to us, it means that the laws of the universe are fixed and make sense and it further means that there is a plan, a grand scheme into which all of these things fit. Certainly, religion has capitalized on our desire to believe that. Science is devoted to proving these immutable laws but any scientist will tell you that there really are no such things. The more we discover and prove, the more things emerge that don't make sense at all and life and universe become even more mysterious. What kind of world would we live in if we all knew for certain that life was truly and thoroughly random?
In my mother's front yard are several bird feeders to feed the yellow finches and rosy finches. Nestled in the shade of a grove of tall trees, the birds gather every day to eat and chatter. They regularly fly down to the ground to pick up fallen seeds and it's here that they are prey to the neighborhood cats that sit for hours in the surrounding foliage waiting for an opportunity. The other day was a windy one and whether it was because the birds couldn't hear or because there were more seeds on the ground, there were three caught in one day by my mom's young cat. On the front porch I found two wings and a rosy head. In the house I found a yellow one in eternal repose lying on the rug and I found a baby one alive, near the cat who was waiting for it to do something interesting so he could pounce again. I think I saved that one but the carnage of the others made me ill.
The death of these birds is indisputably random. My mom could not have cats but the neighbors' cats would still come around. She could remove the feeders but the birds would still gather somewhere and might be killed by another threat. Or might die without the readily available food and nearby trees for nesting. If it hadn't been windy, less may have been killed, and did the ones that got caught do something to contribute to their situation? From their perspective, they're just living like birds and every once in a while one is a victim of an unforeseen tragedy.
The randomness of my life, however, has most been felt in the relationship arena. This year, all of my close girlfriends got married. I was visiting a friend in Seattle who said all of her close girlfriends got married two years ago and are now all having children. We chatted about how random it was that we were the ones that were left. After all, we've both had many boyfriends, several long-term and have actively sought a relationship. Collectively, our friends' stories are all different. They are varying ages, met their mates in totally different ways and their relationships followed no common trajectory. In short, there is no explanation; there is only the result that at 37 years old, we're both thinking for the first time that one of life's opportunities may be passing us by. And yet I find that nearly everyone I know, religious or rational, optimistic or pessimistic, old or young, tend to simultaneously believe these two opposing ideas; If you go for what you want, you'll get it but if you don't, it isn't your fault.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Home-brewed gingerberry Kombucha
I surprised a friend the other day after offering him a glass of homemade Kombucha. "Kom...what?" he stuttered, adding that he didn't realize I was the "make your own food kinda gal." I explained that Kombucha, while not studied by the USFDA, has been around thousands of years and that before refrigeration, our ancestors survived on cultured and fermented foods. There are many people who believe that our bodies need these living foods, filled with cultures and bacteria and organisms, to properly digest our food, absorb nutrients and otherwise be healthy. My mom made and drank Kombucha over a decade ago when she cured herself of adult onset asthma.
When she reminded me of it about a year ago, I started buying it at the store. GT's Synergy Kombucha has a story it from the founder that credits the Kombucha with saving his mother from breast cancer and I loved the gingerberry flavor, with ginger and blueberry juices, but it cost $3.50 a bottle. Someone I knew who was making their own gave me a Kombucha SCOBY (Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast) and I started making gingerberry Kombucha, which is what I offered my friend. He was surprised at first, not used to a fizzy, fermented tea drink but he liked it. He drank it down saying "wow" the whole time. Then he asked how to make it.
Making Kombucha is so easy. I make a one gallon batch each week, yielding 12-16 servings that would cost at least $50 at the store and it costs me about $6. I'm making it for myself and my mom and we both drink a glass every day. I make gingerberry flavor just like Synergy but you can drink it plain or add any fruit juice you want to it when you drink it. If you've never tried it, try the Synergy brand and see if you do. Then, find someone who makes it and get yourself a SCOBY. Every batch yields a new one.
Here's how to do it:
You'll need a one-gallon jar, four mason jars with lids, a fine mesh strainer that fits into a glass, a glass, a spoon and a chopper/food processor.
You'll also need a Kombucha SCOBY, a gallon of filtered water, ten black tea bags (no flavors), one cup of sugar and a glass of Kombucha as the "starter."
The first time, you'll wash the jars, rinse in very hot water and dry. You'll put the Kombucha SCOBY in the gallon jar with the starter. Since you haven't made any yet, will need to add a bottle of GT's organic raw Kombucha to use as starter.
Then, boil the gallon of water in a large pot. Take it off the heat and add ten black tea bags and one cup of sugar and stir. Let it cool to room temperature. When the tea is room temperature, put the jar in the sink and cover the opening with the mesh strainer. Pour the tea in and the strainer will catch the tea bags. Cover the jar with a lint-free towel, securing with a large rubber band and put it in a warm, dark place.
In 7-10 days, take the cloth of of the Kombucha jar and push the SCOBY down with a regular spoon to get a spoonful of Kombucha. Taste it to make sure it is tart. It will smell and taste like a bit like apple cider vinegar. If you're ready to bottle, make another pot of tea like above.
When the tea is cool, put one mason jar in the sink. Get the mouth of the Kombucha jar close to the jar and pour, filling it with Kombucha. Do that with the other three and that should leave you with the Kombucha SCOBY and starter in the large jar.
(Note that with every batch, your SCOBY will grow a new layer that can be peeled off and given to a friend with very clean hands and put into a Ziploc freezer bag with some Kombucha. Or you can just leave it but it will ferment more quickly.)
Then pour the new batch of tea into the Kombucha jar, cover with the linen and rubber band and put it in its dark cupboard for another week. Easy! If I'm going out of town and won't be able to bottle the Kombucha, I put the jar in the refrigerator to slow down the fermentation. You can also, instead of making a new batch, store the SCOBY and the remaining Kombucha in a large Ziploc bag in the refrigerator for several weeks.
OPTIONAL: Once you've bottled the Kombucha, you can add fruit juice. I add blueberry ginger because it was my favorite GT Dave's flavor. To do it, I defrost 3 cups of frozen blueberries the night before. Then I chop them in the food processor, put them in a strainer over a tall glass and press the juice out with the slotted spoon. I peel a 2-3 inch piece of fresh ginger root, cut it into chunks and chop in the food processor. I put the ginger into the blueberry juice and let it sit for a few hours (usually while the tea is cooling). Then strain the ginger and press the juice out so you're left with ginger-infused blueberry juice. Pour a small amount of it into each mason jar of Kombucha.
The most important thing to remember is that the Kombucha SCOBY is a living culture and must be treated in a sanitary way. Always wash your hands and use clean utensils and jars. Also, Kombucha has a reaction with metal and will turn it black so it should only be stored in glass. And don't forget that the only thing that should ever be in your Kombucha brewing jar is black tea, Kombucha and the SCOBY. The fruit juice is only added in the bottling. I recommend drinking Kombucha on a empty stomach rather than right after a meal. It does have a small amount of caffeine in it (from the tea) and is slightly alcoholic so it makes your tummy buzz when you drink it. Enjoy and let me know if you notice any health benefits!
When she reminded me of it about a year ago, I started buying it at the store. GT's Synergy Kombucha has a story it from the founder that credits the Kombucha with saving his mother from breast cancer and I loved the gingerberry flavor, with ginger and blueberry juices, but it cost $3.50 a bottle. Someone I knew who was making their own gave me a Kombucha SCOBY (Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast) and I started making gingerberry Kombucha, which is what I offered my friend. He was surprised at first, not used to a fizzy, fermented tea drink but he liked it. He drank it down saying "wow" the whole time. Then he asked how to make it.
Making Kombucha is so easy. I make a one gallon batch each week, yielding 12-16 servings that would cost at least $50 at the store and it costs me about $6. I'm making it for myself and my mom and we both drink a glass every day. I make gingerberry flavor just like Synergy but you can drink it plain or add any fruit juice you want to it when you drink it. If you've never tried it, try the Synergy brand and see if you do. Then, find someone who makes it and get yourself a SCOBY. Every batch yields a new one.
Here's how to do it:
You'll need a one-gallon jar, four mason jars with lids, a fine mesh strainer that fits into a glass, a glass, a spoon and a chopper/food processor.
You'll also need a Kombucha SCOBY, a gallon of filtered water, ten black tea bags (no flavors), one cup of sugar and a glass of Kombucha as the "starter."
The first time, you'll wash the jars, rinse in very hot water and dry. You'll put the Kombucha SCOBY in the gallon jar with the starter. Since you haven't made any yet, will need to add a bottle of GT's organic raw Kombucha to use as starter.
Then, boil the gallon of water in a large pot. Take it off the heat and add ten black tea bags and one cup of sugar and stir. Let it cool to room temperature. When the tea is room temperature, put the jar in the sink and cover the opening with the mesh strainer. Pour the tea in and the strainer will catch the tea bags. Cover the jar with a lint-free towel, securing with a large rubber band and put it in a warm, dark place.
In 7-10 days, take the cloth of of the Kombucha jar and push the SCOBY down with a regular spoon to get a spoonful of Kombucha. Taste it to make sure it is tart. It will smell and taste like a bit like apple cider vinegar. If you're ready to bottle, make another pot of tea like above.
When the tea is cool, put one mason jar in the sink. Get the mouth of the Kombucha jar close to the jar and pour, filling it with Kombucha. Do that with the other three and that should leave you with the Kombucha SCOBY and starter in the large jar.
(Note that with every batch, your SCOBY will grow a new layer that can be peeled off and given to a friend with very clean hands and put into a Ziploc freezer bag with some Kombucha. Or you can just leave it but it will ferment more quickly.)
Then pour the new batch of tea into the Kombucha jar, cover with the linen and rubber band and put it in its dark cupboard for another week. Easy! If I'm going out of town and won't be able to bottle the Kombucha, I put the jar in the refrigerator to slow down the fermentation. You can also, instead of making a new batch, store the SCOBY and the remaining Kombucha in a large Ziploc bag in the refrigerator for several weeks.
OPTIONAL: Once you've bottled the Kombucha, you can add fruit juice. I add blueberry ginger because it was my favorite GT Dave's flavor. To do it, I defrost 3 cups of frozen blueberries the night before. Then I chop them in the food processor, put them in a strainer over a tall glass and press the juice out with the slotted spoon. I peel a 2-3 inch piece of fresh ginger root, cut it into chunks and chop in the food processor. I put the ginger into the blueberry juice and let it sit for a few hours (usually while the tea is cooling). Then strain the ginger and press the juice out so you're left with ginger-infused blueberry juice. Pour a small amount of it into each mason jar of Kombucha.
The most important thing to remember is that the Kombucha SCOBY is a living culture and must be treated in a sanitary way. Always wash your hands and use clean utensils and jars. Also, Kombucha has a reaction with metal and will turn it black so it should only be stored in glass. And don't forget that the only thing that should ever be in your Kombucha brewing jar is black tea, Kombucha and the SCOBY. The fruit juice is only added in the bottling. I recommend drinking Kombucha on a empty stomach rather than right after a meal. It does have a small amount of caffeine in it (from the tea) and is slightly alcoholic so it makes your tummy buzz when you drink it. Enjoy and let me know if you notice any health benefits!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The possibility for miracles
It was September when I moved into the little apartment upstairs at my mother's house. Her husband is a quiet and reserved guy, an electrical engineer who builds circuit boards by day and reads electrical engineering magazines at night. We share an intellectual curiosity and can talk about things that my mother is not interested in. He pores over my National Geographic magazines and we swap podcasts and talk about the latest scientific discoveries.
The election was really heating up in September as Palin has just been thrown into the ring. Every night at dinner, my mom and I would compare notes on what stupid thing Palin had said that day or what incredible thing was going on in the Obama campaign. Her husband reacted to our conversations but didn't comment, which is not unlike him. I wasn't sure that he was on our side and got the sense that my mother even, didn't know who he had voted for. An early voter, he'd already sent in his ballot but as a registered Republican our mailbox continued to receive propaganda from McCain campaign and the NRA (even though there are no guns in our house). It went on like this for months.
After the election, in a casual conversation about Obama, my mom's husband finally broke the silence and remarked on something my mother said about Obama being so smart and precise with his words. "That's why I voted for him," he said, "because he's a nerd and it's about time we had a nerd in the White House." It's not just that he's intelligent, although that by itself is a major coup for intelligent people everywhere. It isn't only that he's incredibly well spoken, weaving together powerful imagery and wise quotes from leaders past with inspiration and ideas that will rebuild our country. What makes Obama stand out is that he is intellectually curious. He doesn't make decisions based on a personal feeling, religion or party politics. As President of the United States, he will pursue the ideals that our country was founded on with the zeal of a scientist on the verge of discovery. He'll consult experts, examine all the facts and surround himself with the best and the brightest to make the decisions that will shape our future.
During the process of appointing his cabinet, I rejoiced in each nomination reacting with "yes" "right on" and "of course." The assault on reason (at least in the White House) has finally subsided. Many nominees are more qualified than their predecessor and in some case more qualified than all of their predecessors. Many are people who are leaders in their field and are already running labs or schools districts or organizations in that capacity like Dr. Steven Chu for Energy Secretary, Eric Shinseki for Veteran Affairs Secretary, James L. Jones for National Security Advisor, Arne Duncan for Education Secretary and Tom Daschle for Health and Human Services Secretary.
My father, an insufferable sexist, had infuriated me after the election by positing that Obama won because he's "young and handsome" just like Kennedy and that's what "the women" want. I reminded him that women alone didn't get Obama into office and his theory didn't explain Eisenhower, Reagan or Bush Sr. Months before, my dad he said that Obama was capable of doing as much for this country as FDR, but now his inner cynic was trying to tell him that he was just a hot guy who duped the ladies.
Yesterday, I had a conversation with one of the couples living next door, a four-tour-Afghanistan Army Ranger veteran and his 8-month pregnant wife. They had been out shopping for a couch and remarked on how difficult it was to get help anywhere. No one working at the shops cares about the customer, they said. I agreed, having just been to Radio Shack where I waited patiently for my receipt while the boy at the counter watched a TV show on a screen behind me. I said these people were lucky to have jobs and maybe Obama will inspire people to get to work. The vet said he was a pretty political person but had voted "the other way" and was still in the 12-step grieving process. He said people whom he's met said they voted for Obama because he's black and they wanted to make history and he thought that was ridiculous. True, I said, "but these are the same people who voted for Bush because they thought he'd be fun to have a beer with." Ha, ha, the Vet laughed, "That guy IS a partier!"
But when I told him about how Obama had revamped the White House site with a blog and weekly video address to the nation, that he's going to post all legislation that he signs five days in advance to allow for comments from us, and that he wants to hear what we want him to do in office -- opening up forums on topics like health care -- I got his attention. I then told him that Michelle Obama plans to focus on helping veteran's transition back into their lives after returning from war, a cause she has already devoted years to. "I didn't know that," he said, "wow, I'll have to check that out."
While many people have been writing off Obama's popularity as a fan reaction to a novel candidate, other people were quietly rooting for the guy with the big brain to make it to the White House. On Marketplace yesterday a critic of Obama, David Frum author of "Comeback: Conservatism That Can Win Again," said he thought his stimulus plan is bad but acknowledged that the problem Obama brings up is real and no one on his side of the fence has offered a solution. "We said the Bush economy was the greatest story never told. We dismissed those who disagreed as 'whiners.'" But in reality, wages are stagnant and health care costs are rising to "devour potential wage increases." To me, that is what makes Obama so exceptional. Like a scientist, he talks about issues plainly and factually. He wants to fix what's broken and is willing to consider the best solution. He knows the power of collaboration and utilizes the latest technology to open up his administration to anyone with a good idea. You disagree with his ideas? Fine, let's hear yours.
And so it begins, the most exciting presidency in fifty years. Obama is awakening the American public from our cynical slumber, imploring us to believe once again that we can do anything. Not by saying that he'll be a better president than those who came before him but by asking us to believe in ourselves, instead of a politician. Yesterday, I watched a video about the Youth Ball where a young woman said, "I hope he doesn't disappoint us and not turn out to be this god." But our disillusionment comes from a misplaced belief that once we vote in our leaders, our job is done. A feeling that we are entitled to be taken care of by our government that is, like a parent, in charge of our well-being and has no right to be questioned. This is not a parent-child relationship; this is a government of the people, by the people.
Obama said yesterday in a statement, "On this Inauguration Day, we are reminded that we are heirs to over two centuries of American democracy, and that this legacy is not simply a birthright -- it is a glorious burden. Now it falls to us to come together as a people to carry it forward once more." It's a stroke of genius. It's not a matter of whether he'll disappoint us; it's a matter of whether we'll disappoint each other. Obama is already, every day, making miracles. He makes it easy for me to reach out to my neighbor, a person I'm friendly with but have opposing political views from, and invite him to participate in his government.
I vividly remember watching Obama's nomination speech. I drank down every word like the thirstiest person in the world. For the first time in eight years, someone that the world was listening to was speaking the truth about the challenges that our country and our generation face. I nodded and said "that's right" out loud like I was in a Baptist church. My inner skeptic tried, a few times, to caution me against too much enthusiasm but it didn't work. He has returned the presidency to what it is meant to be, a leadership position and we are the people he's leading. We are the people that are going to perform the miracles. He is the leader that will inspire a generation to think differently about its government and its role in the world than any before. There's a photo gallery of the people that will work in the White House and I'm struck by how youthful the group is and how few are career politicians. I feel that these people are as enthused as I am about the future and also believe in the possibility for miracles.
The election was really heating up in September as Palin has just been thrown into the ring. Every night at dinner, my mom and I would compare notes on what stupid thing Palin had said that day or what incredible thing was going on in the Obama campaign. Her husband reacted to our conversations but didn't comment, which is not unlike him. I wasn't sure that he was on our side and got the sense that my mother even, didn't know who he had voted for. An early voter, he'd already sent in his ballot but as a registered Republican our mailbox continued to receive propaganda from McCain campaign and the NRA (even though there are no guns in our house). It went on like this for months.
After the election, in a casual conversation about Obama, my mom's husband finally broke the silence and remarked on something my mother said about Obama being so smart and precise with his words. "That's why I voted for him," he said, "because he's a nerd and it's about time we had a nerd in the White House." It's not just that he's intelligent, although that by itself is a major coup for intelligent people everywhere. It isn't only that he's incredibly well spoken, weaving together powerful imagery and wise quotes from leaders past with inspiration and ideas that will rebuild our country. What makes Obama stand out is that he is intellectually curious. He doesn't make decisions based on a personal feeling, religion or party politics. As President of the United States, he will pursue the ideals that our country was founded on with the zeal of a scientist on the verge of discovery. He'll consult experts, examine all the facts and surround himself with the best and the brightest to make the decisions that will shape our future.
During the process of appointing his cabinet, I rejoiced in each nomination reacting with "yes" "right on" and "of course." The assault on reason (at least in the White House) has finally subsided. Many nominees are more qualified than their predecessor and in some case more qualified than all of their predecessors. Many are people who are leaders in their field and are already running labs or schools districts or organizations in that capacity like Dr. Steven Chu for Energy Secretary, Eric Shinseki for Veteran Affairs Secretary, James L. Jones for National Security Advisor, Arne Duncan for Education Secretary and Tom Daschle for Health and Human Services Secretary.
My father, an insufferable sexist, had infuriated me after the election by positing that Obama won because he's "young and handsome" just like Kennedy and that's what "the women" want. I reminded him that women alone didn't get Obama into office and his theory didn't explain Eisenhower, Reagan or Bush Sr. Months before, my dad he said that Obama was capable of doing as much for this country as FDR, but now his inner cynic was trying to tell him that he was just a hot guy who duped the ladies.
Yesterday, I had a conversation with one of the couples living next door, a four-tour-Afghanistan Army Ranger veteran and his 8-month pregnant wife. They had been out shopping for a couch and remarked on how difficult it was to get help anywhere. No one working at the shops cares about the customer, they said. I agreed, having just been to Radio Shack where I waited patiently for my receipt while the boy at the counter watched a TV show on a screen behind me. I said these people were lucky to have jobs and maybe Obama will inspire people to get to work. The vet said he was a pretty political person but had voted "the other way" and was still in the 12-step grieving process. He said people whom he's met said they voted for Obama because he's black and they wanted to make history and he thought that was ridiculous. True, I said, "but these are the same people who voted for Bush because they thought he'd be fun to have a beer with." Ha, ha, the Vet laughed, "That guy IS a partier!"
But when I told him about how Obama had revamped the White House site with a blog and weekly video address to the nation, that he's going to post all legislation that he signs five days in advance to allow for comments from us, and that he wants to hear what we want him to do in office -- opening up forums on topics like health care -- I got his attention. I then told him that Michelle Obama plans to focus on helping veteran's transition back into their lives after returning from war, a cause she has already devoted years to. "I didn't know that," he said, "wow, I'll have to check that out."
While many people have been writing off Obama's popularity as a fan reaction to a novel candidate, other people were quietly rooting for the guy with the big brain to make it to the White House. On Marketplace yesterday a critic of Obama, David Frum author of "Comeback: Conservatism That Can Win Again," said he thought his stimulus plan is bad but acknowledged that the problem Obama brings up is real and no one on his side of the fence has offered a solution. "We said the Bush economy was the greatest story never told. We dismissed those who disagreed as 'whiners.'" But in reality, wages are stagnant and health care costs are rising to "devour potential wage increases." To me, that is what makes Obama so exceptional. Like a scientist, he talks about issues plainly and factually. He wants to fix what's broken and is willing to consider the best solution. He knows the power of collaboration and utilizes the latest technology to open up his administration to anyone with a good idea. You disagree with his ideas? Fine, let's hear yours.
And so it begins, the most exciting presidency in fifty years. Obama is awakening the American public from our cynical slumber, imploring us to believe once again that we can do anything. Not by saying that he'll be a better president than those who came before him but by asking us to believe in ourselves, instead of a politician. Yesterday, I watched a video about the Youth Ball where a young woman said, "I hope he doesn't disappoint us and not turn out to be this god." But our disillusionment comes from a misplaced belief that once we vote in our leaders, our job is done. A feeling that we are entitled to be taken care of by our government that is, like a parent, in charge of our well-being and has no right to be questioned. This is not a parent-child relationship; this is a government of the people, by the people.
Obama said yesterday in a statement, "On this Inauguration Day, we are reminded that we are heirs to over two centuries of American democracy, and that this legacy is not simply a birthright -- it is a glorious burden. Now it falls to us to come together as a people to carry it forward once more." It's a stroke of genius. It's not a matter of whether he'll disappoint us; it's a matter of whether we'll disappoint each other. Obama is already, every day, making miracles. He makes it easy for me to reach out to my neighbor, a person I'm friendly with but have opposing political views from, and invite him to participate in his government.
I vividly remember watching Obama's nomination speech. I drank down every word like the thirstiest person in the world. For the first time in eight years, someone that the world was listening to was speaking the truth about the challenges that our country and our generation face. I nodded and said "that's right" out loud like I was in a Baptist church. My inner skeptic tried, a few times, to caution me against too much enthusiasm but it didn't work. He has returned the presidency to what it is meant to be, a leadership position and we are the people he's leading. We are the people that are going to perform the miracles. He is the leader that will inspire a generation to think differently about its government and its role in the world than any before. There's a photo gallery of the people that will work in the White House and I'm struck by how youthful the group is and how few are career politicians. I feel that these people are as enthused as I am about the future and also believe in the possibility for miracles.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The book is better
I recently went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button after hearing, as I'm sure you have, that it was really good. Oscar season is difficult for me because I have such high expectations. These are supposed to be the best movies of the year coming out between Thanksgiving and Christmas and yet most of them are disappointing. Ben Button was beautifully shot, looked expensive and had two big stars in it but I thought it was a bit of a bore. The whole time I was thinking I couldn't wait to read the book. I wanted to luxuriate in the story a bit more but the movie just kept trucking through time periods and costumes and CGI'd ages.
There was very little humor even though the whole situation is fraught with potential hilarity. And somehow the characters end up being devoid of likeability, I wasn't moved at all by their situations. I found it to be too long and slightly depressing. The next day, I was at the bookstore and found the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald of the same name and read it. It was completely different from the movie. A different time period, different location, without any of the main plot points, and, it was silly. It couldn't have provided any ideas for the film. Harrumph, I thought, I was so looking forward to the book!
Then a few days later, quite by accident, I picked up a book in the same bookstore called "The Confessions of Max Tivoli." It's a novel about a man who ages backwards, has an epic love story and takes place in turn-of the-century San Francisco. How wonderful, the story I was looking for and it takes place in my beloved San Francisco! I read it in a few days and loved it. It has much more similarity to the movie's story than the F. Scott Fitzgerald short. In fact, the author Andrew Sean Greer said that he didn't even know of the short when he wrote the book but was relieved to discover how different they were. He says on his website that the production company tried to buy rights to the book in 2004 but he didn't want it to be made into a film. It makes me wonder if the writer, then, modeled his script after the book but with just the number of changes required to avoid a lawsuit.
What really boggles me, though, is why Greer didn't sell the rights to the book? His name and the book have come up in hundreds of mentions of the film anyway, with many people saying the book is better – a common remark about books turned into movies. So why not take their money and let them give us a better movie? He could have insisted it have a different title and could even opt out of the credits but still pocket the cash. In any regard if you liked the movie but though it would be a better read, I recommend "The Confessions of Max Tivoli."
There was very little humor even though the whole situation is fraught with potential hilarity. And somehow the characters end up being devoid of likeability, I wasn't moved at all by their situations. I found it to be too long and slightly depressing. The next day, I was at the bookstore and found the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald of the same name and read it. It was completely different from the movie. A different time period, different location, without any of the main plot points, and, it was silly. It couldn't have provided any ideas for the film. Harrumph, I thought, I was so looking forward to the book!
Then a few days later, quite by accident, I picked up a book in the same bookstore called "The Confessions of Max Tivoli." It's a novel about a man who ages backwards, has an epic love story and takes place in turn-of the-century San Francisco. How wonderful, the story I was looking for and it takes place in my beloved San Francisco! I read it in a few days and loved it. It has much more similarity to the movie's story than the F. Scott Fitzgerald short. In fact, the author Andrew Sean Greer said that he didn't even know of the short when he wrote the book but was relieved to discover how different they were. He says on his website that the production company tried to buy rights to the book in 2004 but he didn't want it to be made into a film. It makes me wonder if the writer, then, modeled his script after the book but with just the number of changes required to avoid a lawsuit.
What really boggles me, though, is why Greer didn't sell the rights to the book? His name and the book have come up in hundreds of mentions of the film anyway, with many people saying the book is better – a common remark about books turned into movies. So why not take their money and let them give us a better movie? He could have insisted it have a different title and could even opt out of the credits but still pocket the cash. In any regard if you liked the movie but though it would be a better read, I recommend "The Confessions of Max Tivoli."
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Article 1 - The right to equality
I've wanted to write about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights for a while now. I have a calendar from Amnesty International on my wall that has an article from the declaration on each month and I've found it quite inspiring. I'm finally writing about it because today is Human Rights Day and the 60-year anniversary of the Declaration being adopted by the UN General Assembly. If you've never read the Universal Declaration of Human Rights before, I strongly recommend it. It's incredible to consider the rights that 48 nations agreed every human deserves to have. It's certainly far from perfect but is part of a vital conversation that has existed for thousands of years.
There's a lot of activity on this day this year. For one thing, Amnesty International and the ACLU are relentlessly reminding Obama that he promised to shut down Guantánamo. They want him to do it on his first day. For another, gay rights supporters have named this day Day Without a Gay and have pledged to call in "gay" to work and instead spend the day volunteering for a good cause. I'm not doing it because a) I don't have a job and b) I already spend every day volunteering, but I wholly support the idea. I think it's fantastic.
For millions of people on this planet, these rights are merely an idea, nothing that they have ever actually enjoyed. It's the reason that I believe the election of Obama caused such a worldwide phenomenon. In the days after the election, I read stories and heard first or second hand from black Americans who either voted for the first time or voted for the first time believing our political process can work. People whose children, as young as five, watched the election results with gleeful anticipation as if expecting to see a miracle happen right before their eyes. Indeed, to many in this country and abroad, what happened on election night was a miracle.
We elected a man who inspired us, made us hopeful about our country and made us feel powerful in our own ability to affect change. To much of the world, that has viewed the United States as the expression of these universal rights, that we overcame our history of black slavery and struggle for civil rights to elect an African-American as president is proof that these things are not merely ideas. They are ideas that we put into action every day. I don't think we can underestimate the profound impact that an event like this will have on the world, especially on the younger generations. To people all over the world it signaled hope that they too could make a difference and that their own struggle for human rights is not in vain.
While I admired McCain for his elegant concession speech, speaking of Obama with respect that he rarely afforded him throughout the election, there was something about the way he mentioned the "special significance" his election held for African-Americans that made me flinch. Looking at the nearly all white audience, some with anger on their faces and some shouting and booing, it seemed to me that they might hear, "If you're pissed off, you can blame the blacks." It seemed to me that his election signaled a similar but opposite thought in some; that the dominance of whites is over, not just in the U.S. but all over the world.
There was much talk after the election about the Republican base is now limited to the south. Half of Republicans now in office are from the south and the highest increases in voter turnout were in the south. It was speculated that it was due to blacks who had never voted before, thanks in part to the huge effort by the Obama campaign to help people get to the polls. But in fact, there is reason to believe that the record numbers were also due to whites voting to keep a black man from becoming president. There has always been an enormous fear by those of the dominant group(s) about what happens when those that are not, get more rights. In the same way that it took women 80 years to get the vote and how hard women had to fight to gain the right to a college education, gays are now fighting the same fear over what happens if they should be allowed to marry.
I really like this music video that Amnesty International sent me about the Universal Declaration and have decided that I will spend today editing the video that I promised to make for Amnesty International. I encourage you to spend the day thinking about how you can promote human rights. Write a letter. Volunteer. Voice your opinion. Get involved.
There's a lot of activity on this day this year. For one thing, Amnesty International and the ACLU are relentlessly reminding Obama that he promised to shut down Guantánamo. They want him to do it on his first day. For another, gay rights supporters have named this day Day Without a Gay and have pledged to call in "gay" to work and instead spend the day volunteering for a good cause. I'm not doing it because a) I don't have a job and b) I already spend every day volunteering, but I wholly support the idea. I think it's fantastic.
For millions of people on this planet, these rights are merely an idea, nothing that they have ever actually enjoyed. It's the reason that I believe the election of Obama caused such a worldwide phenomenon. In the days after the election, I read stories and heard first or second hand from black Americans who either voted for the first time or voted for the first time believing our political process can work. People whose children, as young as five, watched the election results with gleeful anticipation as if expecting to see a miracle happen right before their eyes. Indeed, to many in this country and abroad, what happened on election night was a miracle.
We elected a man who inspired us, made us hopeful about our country and made us feel powerful in our own ability to affect change. To much of the world, that has viewed the United States as the expression of these universal rights, that we overcame our history of black slavery and struggle for civil rights to elect an African-American as president is proof that these things are not merely ideas. They are ideas that we put into action every day. I don't think we can underestimate the profound impact that an event like this will have on the world, especially on the younger generations. To people all over the world it signaled hope that they too could make a difference and that their own struggle for human rights is not in vain.
While I admired McCain for his elegant concession speech, speaking of Obama with respect that he rarely afforded him throughout the election, there was something about the way he mentioned the "special significance" his election held for African-Americans that made me flinch. Looking at the nearly all white audience, some with anger on their faces and some shouting and booing, it seemed to me that they might hear, "If you're pissed off, you can blame the blacks." It seemed to me that his election signaled a similar but opposite thought in some; that the dominance of whites is over, not just in the U.S. but all over the world.
There was much talk after the election about the Republican base is now limited to the south. Half of Republicans now in office are from the south and the highest increases in voter turnout were in the south. It was speculated that it was due to blacks who had never voted before, thanks in part to the huge effort by the Obama campaign to help people get to the polls. But in fact, there is reason to believe that the record numbers were also due to whites voting to keep a black man from becoming president. There has always been an enormous fear by those of the dominant group(s) about what happens when those that are not, get more rights. In the same way that it took women 80 years to get the vote and how hard women had to fight to gain the right to a college education, gays are now fighting the same fear over what happens if they should be allowed to marry.
I really like this music video that Amnesty International sent me about the Universal Declaration and have decided that I will spend today editing the video that I promised to make for Amnesty International. I encourage you to spend the day thinking about how you can promote human rights. Write a letter. Volunteer. Voice your opinion. Get involved.
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